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If I could change a moment... - The Captain's Log

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April 2nd, 2004


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02:38 pm - If I could change a moment...
Through the course of my career in Starfleet I have traveled back in time (more than once), been to the edge of the galaxy and back (again, more than once), and had to make thousands of command decisions that would determine if my crew or even myself would live or die.

And despite all that, despite all the things I could change that would have made my life easier, do you know what I most long to alter? I would have been there for my son.

My son.

I had just started to get to know him when the Klingons murdered David on the Genesis planet. My... arrogance, my pride had gotten in the way again. It's why his mother kept him from me in the first place. Not that I noticed. My ship, my crew, my career were all more important.

I had never faced the Kobiashi Maru - the no-win scenario. Not until that day. When the rules didn't suit me, I simply changed them. That day, I learned that I can't control everything. I can't simply change the rules when I want to.

I'd give anything to go back and have learned that lesson while I was still at the Academy. Things might have been different. I might have realized that just because the situation didn't suit me, didn't mean that I was absolved of my responsibility to David. And he might still be alive today.
Current Mood: regretful

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